Wit
by Liyrah
Summary: Donna decides that the Doctor needs to be put in his place. The result? An argument that no one can win.


**A/N: A bit of a battle of wits with the 10****th**** Doctor and Donna. This little ficlet takes place during no specific time, but it can be assumed that it is shortly after Donna begins traveling with the Doctor. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. I honestly don't see the point of disclaimers. I feel like I'm stating the painfully obvious. I think I just made this disclaimer so I could point that out. K, bye.**

"You really do like listening to the sound of your own pontificating don't you?"

The Doctor stopped short. "What?"

"You've been babbling on for the past twenty minutes about the inner workings of time travel. Either you're showing off, or you really are _that _stupid."

Now he was really caught off guard. "S-stupid?" he stammered. The Doctor had been called many things in his long life. 'Stupid' was not an adjective that he heard applied to himself frequently.

Donna Noble crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn't kidding. "Yeah, that's right, Sunshine. Stupid."

The Doctor occupied himself by playing a bit with the TARDIS controls while he attempted to think of a brilliant comeback. After a moment, he turned to face his companion. "How so?" he demanded.

Donna scoffed. "Anyone who takes twenty minutes to describe something which, in layman's terms, could take five seconds can't be anything other than an idiot." She cocked an eyebrow at him, challenging him.

The Doctor adjusted his posture, crossing his arms to mimic Donna's condescending gesture. "Really? And how would you, someone who until a few days ago had never traveled in time before, describe time travel in five seconds?"

She didn't hesitate. "It just does."

"What?"

"It. Just. Does." she repeated, slower this time, as if talking to a child, "That's how time travel works, I mean. It just does."

"That doesn't make any sense, Donna."

"Neither did anything you were just saying, so it's the same thing."

"I'm sorry, are you attempting to use some obscure sort of logic? And, by the way, your 'explanation' was more like two seconds. I was counting." the Doctor said, annoyed now.

She continued as if she had not heard him. In the short time he had known her, the Doctor had learned that, as soon as Donna Noble had decided to make a point, no one was going to stop her.

"Were you ever a kid?" she asked.

"Well, of course I was," he replied, cautiously.

"And, when you were a kid, did you ask your parents complicated things?"

"Um. Yes."

"And did they tell you the answers?" she was grinning a bit now, looking more self-assured by the second.

"Well, not exactly. I was a kid after all."

"Aha!" Donna exclaimed.

The Doctor narrowed his eyes a bit, "So you want me to treat you like a child?" he questioned, genuinely confused.

"Well, I dunno who you've been traveling with lately, Doctor, but I'm certainly not going to stand here and let you talk over my head all the time. Nor will I kiss the ground you walk on. Nor will I do your laundry."

"What the hell has _laundry_ got to do with anything?"

"Well seeing as you're always wearing the same suit—"

"I HAVE OTHER SUITS, YOU'RE JUST NEVER AROUND WHEN I'M WEARING THEM."

Donna muttered something under her breath which sounded suspiciously like "a likely story" but the Doctor decided against asking her to repeat herself. He sighed melodramatically. "Oh Donna, where have you been all my life?"

Donna snorted. "So you're changing the subject now, eh? Because I'm right and you won't admit it, right?"

"Right about what?"

"PONTIFICATING."

"Donna, I'm not sure you're even using that word in the right context."

His companion growled under her breath, "You know what I mean," she asserted.

They stood rooted to their spots for some time, staring at each other. Donna with her arms still crossed over her chest—a bit reminiscent of a child, actually, the Doctor decided—and the Doctor leaning casually against the TARDIS console, a smug smile spread across his face.

"So do I win?"

The Doctor's shoulders slumped. "You're not serious."

"I'm completely serious."

He wasn't sure if he should laugh or be annoyed. "Is it that important to you?"

Donna smiled. It was a surprisingly genuine smile, the usual non-verbal sarcasm that accompanied most of her actions suspiciously absent. "To be right? Well, yeah," she grinned, "But to put you in your place? Even more so."

"In my place?" he asked, once again confused.

"Yeah, Doc. Your place. You run around the universe, saving everyone, and that's all fine and good. But I just don't want that head of yours to inflate anymore than it already has. You should at least be a bit likeable."

"I'm perfectly likeable!"

"As well as arrogant, pompous, and a little bit vain," she counted at the disparaging remarks on her fingers.

"I..I…well…" he stammered, "those words mean basically the same thing," he observed triumphantly after a moment.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

The Doctor let out an exasperated wail, grabbing tufts of his own hair in frustration. "You're such a child!" he groaned before he could stop himself. Donna remained suspiciously silent, as the Doctor realized the implications of what he had just said. "Wait, I didn't mean that!"

"No way, you can't backpedal now, mate!" Donna exclaimed, looking annoyingly validated, "You just proved my point!" she sang.

"No, wait, I…" another sigh, "Fine."

Donna finally uncrossed her arms, and instead rested them on her hips. "So," she said innocently, "How does time travel work?"

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "It just does." he said, obediently.

She smiled. "I understand perfectly," she responded.

The Doctor turned once again to the TARDIS controls, musing in his head about where they would go next. "I'm sure you do Donna," he said, "I'm sure you do."

"So where are we going?"

"Somewhere."

"Wanna be a little less vague?"

"I would, but apparently detail annoys you."

Donna was obviously caught off guard, and the Doctor had to make an extreme effort not to burst out laughing when her mouth dropped open.

"You can't do that!"

He strode to her side, slinging a consoling arm around her shoulder. He felt her grow tense. "I'm sorry, Donna," he said, sounding more as if he was consoling her after the loss of a family member rather than an argument, "but I believe I just did."


End file.
